Is It Ever Going to End?

In the last year, I have tried my best to realize the good in each and every day.  To find something of beauty to marvel at, something that caused me to take notice, be grateful, be humbled.

I've had plenty to keep me busy around the house and farm, and, personally, I think I've done a pretty good job of holding it all together and pushing through both large and small jobs.

 

 

But the darkness of loneliness, depression, and despair were never far away.  Even though I never let myself fall into that pit, I admit there have been plenty of days of self pity.

My husband, my very best friend, left for a one year assignment in February 2014.  He should be back by now......  But he's not.  I know I've got to be strong, and I know I've got to be patient, and I know he's coming home, but by golly, I'm tired of waiting!!!

This is just a part of what it means to be married to the military.  The separations, the unknown, the indefinite answers, the Army being in control of our lives.

Winter has been extreme this year for much of the country.  And I've always found this part of winter to be the ugliest.  Everything is so dead and drab it makes you wonder how any of it could still have life in it!  This provides the perfect correlation to my situation:  will it ever end?

Thankfully, the promise of spring is always there, just like it's been in years and centuries past.  I see leaf and flower buds on trees and spring flowers pushing up from the dirt.  It provides comfort and an undeniable invigorating energy.  Even the increase in daylight hours has a positive impact!

 

 

So all that being said, what better time for my beloved to come home... during Spring!  A time for renewal, a time for new beginnings, a time for recommitment to each other and the vows we spoke so long ago, renewed enthusiasm and determination as we continue building our farm.

I still don't know the exact day he will return, but I just know it's going to be soon.  It just has to be! 

So I'll close with a picture that pretty much sums it all up: 

The Dream

Pardon my absence!  I've been a little busy.  Building a house is a time-consuming process.  That’s a really silly, very obvious comment….  But when you’re actually doing it, it’s a realization that stops you in your tracks, especially if you’re on a limited time frame. 

Building a house is also a dream that often never comes to life, for you're always waiting for the right time and place to come along.  As I get older, I realize Carpe Diem should be my mantra!

My family and I returned from Morocco to South Carolina exactly 18 months ago.  My husband is currently serving a 2 year assignment with Army Central Command (ARCENT).  The first 9 months of the assignment, he was deployed.  Needless to say, a house building project should be done together so nothing was accomplished during his absence.  Not that I couldn’t have made some decisions, or gotten some of the work started, but let’s just suffice it to say that two heads are better than one when making decisions about the home where we will spend the rest of our lives. Hence, the “limited time constraint”. It’s almost time for my husband's next assignment, and we haven’t even broken ground yet!

 

Let me back up a bit.  When we started dating almost 30 years ago, our dream was barely a thought. We were young, inexperienced, and had the door to the world opening before us.  We were on the move, not to mention we are owned by the US Army so we have to go when and where they tell us!  Stay in South Carolina?  No way!  Not when we had the opportunity to see the world!  So off we went to faraway lands, both domestic and foreign.  But our dream kept popping up.  There were changes, there were new ideas, there were new hopes, and there were new military assignments that kept us on the move, so the dream had to wait.  However, we held to it tightly, because it was our future, our goal.

My parents were always aware of our dream.  My father gave the dream his blessing before he passed away back in 1987, and assured us that anything is possible with faith in God and hard work. And so, through our entire marriage, my mother was often reminded of our intentions….to return to South Carolina, build a home, and start a cattle farm.  The first step to reality occurred two Christmases ago when my mother deeded the land to me.  Were it not for my dear parents, who were true stewards of the land, the dream would still be just that, a dream.

Join me here, as I try to post as regularly as possible, the many hurdles and victories involved in building a home in a rural community on undeveloped land.